I’ve traveled throughout the world but would like to focus for a moment on my home, the United States. For decades now, I’ve explored this country and visited every geographic area and state in the Union except North Dakota.
Which doesn’t really count.
I kid, I kid. Someday, Fargo. You and me.
Anyway, as any wanderer knows, this country is large and diverse. When my children were younger, my partner and I took them with us on our travels. We recognized all the ways that someone living in New York City was strong. And how someone living in Wyoming was a different kind of strong. We noticed how Alabama is so different from Alaska, which is so different from Hawaii. And yet somehow, we’re all connected.
Here’s how our death rituals are different, yet connected, too.
American Indians
The Lakota are primarily located in the Northern Great Plains, particularly in the Dakotas, Nebraska, and Montana. They are part of the larger Sioux Nation.
While visiting this area, I saw how Lakota observed four days of mourning after the death of a loved one. During this time, the spirit was believed to transition to the afterlife. Rituals also included singing, prayers, and ceremonial use of sage and sweetgrass to help guide the spirit.
On the contrary, the Navajo Nation, located in the southwestern United States, primarily in northeastern Arizona, northwestern New Mexico, and southeastern Utah, traditionally avoids mentioning the dead for fear of disturbing their spirit.
Practices involve taking the body away from the home for burial without leaving a stone or marker behind.
The Cherokee originally inhabited the southeastern United States, including areas of present-day North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia, and Tennessee. After the Trail of Tears in the 1830s, many Cherokee were forcibly relocated to what is now Oklahoma.
They often have a wake or vigil, and traditionally, mourners fast or eat limited meals until the burial. It’s also customary to honor the deceased through storytelling and songs.
Creole Culture
New Orleans is famous for its vibrant jazz funerals, which blend African, French, and Creole traditions. The procession is typically somber at first, with the band playing dirges, but after the burial, the music shifts to lively jazz, celebrating the deceased’s life.
I love New Orleans and one of my fondest memories is participating in a jazz funeral.
After the more formal service, we formed a second line following behind the main group. This line was made up of friends, family, and community members. We danced and celebrated the deceased’s life, transforming grief into a communal expression of joy and remembrance.
New England
When I lived in Boston, I noticed that in most of New England, death rituals were often austere, probably influenced by Puritan beliefs. Simple graves, with headstones featuring symbolic imagery like skulls or hourglasses, existed in every corner of the city.
I also noticed that during funerals, there was little focus on celebrating life, as death was seen as a reminder of sin and judgment.
Most New England funerals include a mix of religious traditions (like Catholic or Protestant services) and personalized memorials. Gravesite services and wakes remain common, with the tone thankfully shifting to reflect more positive memorialization.
Southwest
In states like Arizona and New Mexico, which have large Hispanic and Native populations, the Day of the Dead is a significant tradition. Communities, families, and neighbors set up altars (ofrendas) to honor the dead, with photographs, candles, and the favorite foods of the deceased.
It’s a joyful celebration of the dead’s lives, believed to bring them back for a brief time.
Southwestern Native American groups, such as the Hopi and Zuni, have complex beliefs surrounding death. They believe in a journey of the spirit to the afterlife, and rituals often include purification ceremonies and offerings.
Pacific Coast
Many people on the Pacific Coast, especially in California, favor cremation. Scattering ashes, or cremains, has become a popular practice, often in natural settings like the ocean or forests.
Indigenous groups like the Tlingit and Haida have historically practiced rituals such as potlatches—large ceremonial gatherings—after a death. They distribute gifts and tell stories; honoring the deceased and ensuring they are remembered within the community.
Texas
In rural areas, funerals often reflect a communal spirit. Texans hold a “dinner on the grounds” after the religious service, where attendees gather for a meal, often featuring local dishes. This can create a supportive environment for mourning and remembrance.
In some Texan communities, folk beliefs influence death rituals. For example, some people believe in “mementos mori,” or keeping objects that belonged to the deceased as a way to remember and honor them.
Indigenous tribes in Texas, such as the Comanche and Apache, have their own unique death rituals. This includes mourning periods, specific burial practices, and spiritual ceremonies aimed at guiding the deceased’s spirit to the afterlife.
In some Texan communities, it’s common to serve barbecue at funerals or memorial services. This reflects Texas’s culture and emphasizes communal support. The gathering often turns into a celebration of life, filled with storytelling and sharing memories.
African-American Traditions
Enslaved people’s death rituals in the United States varied widely depending on cultural background, region, and the specific circumstances of their lives. Despite the oppressive conditions they faced, many enslaved individuals maintained cultural practices that honored their dead and reflected their heritage.
Similar to other cultures, the body of the deceased was often washed and dressed in special clothing, sometimes with personal items included for the journey to the afterlife.
Family and friends often held a vigil, gathering to honor the deceased, share stories, and express grief. This was a communal event that reinforced social bonds. Neighbors would come together to dig graves and participate in the ceremony, reflecting a sense of solidarity and mutual support.
Mourners sang spirituals or hymns during funerals, conveying messages of hope and remembrance. These songs sometimes included references to liberation and the afterlife.
Rituals might also involve calling on ancestors for guidance and support.
Community
In many of our communities, funerals have always turned into gatherings that include feasting, storytelling, and celebrating the life of the deceased. This practice helped to reinforce communal ties and preserve memories.
Many Americans continue to honor their ancestors through rituals that emphasize the ongoing relationship between the living and the dead. This involves setting aside special days for remembrance or maintaining physical memorials.
Storytelling about the deceased’s life and contributions is a popular way to keep their memory alive within the community, ensuring that their stories and experiences are passed down through generations.
Stories matter and continue to evolve as we do. Contact me anytime to incorporate storytelling and grief rituals for your remembrance ceremonies today.
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