How to Reach Out to Someone

Have you stopped communicating with someone you care about? Perhaps this is a dear friend, a family member, or a loved one. Did you ghost them or let a rift grow until it became too big to manage? And now you want to reconnect but don’t know how to reach out?

Perhaps you didn’t want to explain. You didn’t bother to work it out for one reason or another. But now, you feel like it’s time.

Without a Diagnosis

Many of us have pulled away from someone without explanation or have had someone do this to us. Over the years, I have been both the ghost-er and ghost-ee. We all have our reasons. When someone stops including me in their life, I do not typically reach out with questions. Instead, I respect their decision, wish them well, and move on.

I hope the people I’ve pulled away from have done the same.

Sometimes I’ll hear from a ghost-er after a month, a year, or a decade. Oftentimes they’ll send an emoji text or a “You up?” meme.

No explanation. No reasoning. Just a casual attempt to re-enter my life.

Do I accept and pick up where we left off?

Do I ignore it?

Or do I send my own gif akin to “WTF”?

Either way, it’s now on me. Which doesn’t seem fair. I’m left wondering, “What’s wrong with people?” Why don’t they know how to reconnect properly?

Reconnecting at End-of-Life

I’ve talked with numerous clients who miss an estranged loved one but have no earthly clue how to reach out. They don’t send memes or gifs. Or anything else for that matter. They’re truly in a prison of their own design.

They often do nothing and then enter the active dying phase with a ton of regret and everlasting silence.

It’s heartbreaking to watch.

How to Reach Out

Mending a rift doesn’t have to be difficult. Fill out this reconciliation form. Let it guide your efforts when writing a longer letter.

Or send the form to me and I’ll write the letter for you.

You don’t have to be dying to do this, but if you are dealing with a terminal illness, then time is of the essence. Either way, if you need assistance and support in this area, book a session with me and we’ll get after it. If not, then write the letter yourself, using this reconciliation form as a guide, and either email it to your person or snail mail it the old-fashioned way.

(Don’t text. Trust me.)

Whether you write it yourself or hire me to do it, that part doesn’t matter. What matters is you learn how to reach out and heal this rift before it’s too late.

Do you know what else doesn’t matter? Their response. They can respond well, poorly, or not at all. After all, it’s not about them. Their response is beside the point.

It’s about you. That’s why you’re doing this.   

Happy mending.

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