45 Best Epitaphs

In honor of Plan Your Epitaph Day (November 2) here are the 45 best epitaphs out there:

Dorothy Parker 

“Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.”

Robert Clay Allison

“He never killed a man that did not need killing”

Spike Milligan 

“Duirt mé leat go raibh mé breoite” (“I told you I was ill.”)

Marguerite Dewey Daniels

“She always said her feet were killing her, but no one believed her.”

Leonard Matlovich

“When I was in the military they gave me a medal for killing two men and a discharge for loving one.”

Jesse James

“Murdered by a traitor and coward whose name is not worthy to appear here”

F. Scott & Zelda Fitzgerald

“So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past”

Ludolph van Ceulen


Mel Blanc

“That’s all, folks”

Rodney Dangerfield

“…There goes the neighborhood”

Jack Lemmon


Bette Davis

“She did it the hard way”

Dee Dee Ramone

“OK… I gotta go now”

Martin Luther King Jr.

“Free at last, Free at last, Thank God Almighty I’m Free at last”

Jim Morrison

“Truth to your own spirit”

Ian Curtis

“Love will tear us apart”

Robert Frost

“I had a lover’s quarrel with the world.”

Winston Churchill

“I am ready to meet my Maker.  Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.” 

Alexander the Great

“A tomb now suffices him for whom the world was not enough” 

Edgar Allan Poe

“Quoth the raven, ‘Nevermore’”

Lenny Bruce

“Peace at last”


“Well this sucks”

George Bernard Shaw 

“I knew if I waited around long enough something like this would happen.”

John Frost 

“The outward mark of respect paid to men merely because they are rich and powerful … hath no communication with the heart”

Billy Wilder

“I’m a writer, but then nobody’s perfect.”


“If you can read this, you are standing on my boobs”

Leslie Nielsen

“Let ’er rip”


“It was a hell of a life”

Cecil Day-Lewis 

“Shall I be gone long?”

Elladora Black

“Beneath this dolesome veil she rests, her weary head serene, from busy life, she’s peaceful laid, no sorrows intervene.”

William Butler Yeats 

“Cast a cold eye on life, on death. Horseman, pass by!”

Harry Bagshaw 

“Well played”

Marking the burial place of 31 unidentified persons who died in the Windsor Hotel fire of 1899.

“Weeping for the living and the dead”

Fred Korematsu

“A true hero and civil rights activist”

Andy Warhol 


Russell Larsen

“Two things I love most, good horses and beautiful women, and when I die, I hope they tan this old hide of mine and make it into a ladies riding saddle, so I can rest in peace between the two things I love most.”

Bill Kugle

“He never voted for Republicans and had little to do with them”

Cecil O’Dell Eads

“My brother was good at pissing people off.”

Fran Thatcher

“Damn it’s dark down here”


“Thanks for stopping by, however unless you are a True Democrat who also believes in and supports the principles of Labor Unions, please make your visit brief.”

Annie McGuire

“Beneath this stone two sisters sleep who’ve left us here a while to weep; in bloom of youth were call’d away, transient as theirs may be our stay

George Spencer

“Lost life by stab in falling on ink eraser, evading six young women trying to give him birthday kisses in office”

Edith Tina Barlow

“Shit happens”

Anne Royall 

“I pray that the union of these states may be eternal”

Lawrence L. Cook, Jr.

“Ma loves Pa – Pa loves women, Ma caught Pa, with 2 in swimmin’.”

Famous last words or epitaphs. What will yours be?

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